In the beginning of the year decisions are made to change behaviors. This effort normally lasts a couple of months if I am lucky, and usually involves food, drink and exercise - totally exhausted subjects for change.
For the past few years I have flirted with the idea of becoming a vegan. No meat, cheese or dairy products. That would mean using my creativity to make plant-based gourmet dishes that are so succulent that I won’t miss what I’m not eating. This is in direct contrast with the philosophy that deprivation never works. It merely makes you want whatever you don’t have, even more. In the meantime I experiment with various vegan products so if I do decide on a permanent change, I will know what’s out there.
After a dog walk with nine exuberant canines, all but two come back to the house for a nap while RockDog, Bunny and I go to the grocery store for dog kibble. As I pass by the cooler I notice a pack of vegan hotdogs and think a bun-less dog with mustard and a salad sounds pretty good. Recently I bought a variety pack of mustards made in France and the basil one might be good at disguising a meatless dog. When you are hungry anything sounds good.
We are greeted at the door by seven barking dogs just waking up. It’s chaos at the gate as I come in with a bag of groceries, and a few dogs go out. The hatch on Sooby is left open because I am coming right back. Of course someone had piddled on the floor so I am temporarily distracted while wiping it up and then mopping the area – 5 minutes max. I then get the remaining bags out of the car and notice DoDog rushing up the driveway with her head down. She must really have to go potty, a bit odd since we just had a long walk. I unpack everything putting stuff in the refrigerator and cabinets.
Wheew, I am finally ready to fix my lunch. Wait a minute; I don’t remember putting the vegan dogs away?? I search in the bags to be sure I got everything out. Maybe I subconsciously put them in the fridge, or the cupboards? Finally, I return to Sooby to see if the dogs fell out of the bag. I did buy them, didn't I? Could they have fallen out of the cart? Were they listed on the item printout I tossed in the trash on my way out?
Wait a minute! Didn’t I just see a lone Basset Hound quickly walking away when I returned to the car? Could she? Would she? Did she? The light bulb finally goes off. Of course she did! All the dogs are off the deck and anxious to get to a spot in the bushes where DoDog is hanging out nonchalantly looking my way. The other dogs have confirmed my suspicions with their relentless sniffing of said area. I’m not about to walk over the hill on the ice to investigate the spot in question because I already know there is nothing left.
And now for the rub, I know she snagged them out of the bag while I was cleaning up dog pee, she knows she did it and has a sated smile on her lips, and the dogs know she did it because they can smell the residue of hotdogs on the earth where she opened the bag and no doubt consumed all eight dogs along with the plastic evidence. But, I can’t accuse her of such a heinous crime when I have no real evidence that she did it!
I wonder what does a Vegan Dog taste like? I have yet to know, but out of nine canines I bet eight know what one smells like and the other one knows they are truly delicious. But she has an indiscriminate pallet. Grrrrr! This human should know by now to never, ever leave tempting food anywhere near opportunists, even for a few minutes. Bottom line, the hotdogs are history and I must now find something else for lunch. Sigh. . .
Isn’t this just like a DoDog becoming a Vegan? NOT!